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  She looked away, her heart heavy. His beautiful eye, gone.

  Fucking Jeremy. Fucking Church of Slayers.

  They’d refused to take credit for the Hawthorne Ridge battle. No one believed them. And Karin Love sat in her cell, more protected than ever. The world was fucked-up when someone that evil was given more rights than her victims.

  There were still unanswered questions, most of them touching on the Church of Slayers.

  Rune believed COS was going to concentrate on Spiritgrove for three reasons.

  Levi, Denim, and Lex.

  Let them come.

  Shiv Crew would be ready for them.

  But she and her crew lived, and for the first time she watched the battle as it’d looked from above, the quality a little grainy but clear enough.

  Clear enough to see her facing down the Others, to see the dark splotches of blood as she ripped them to shreds. Clear enough to watch as she fell beneath their numbers.

  “That’s what we saw,” Z whispered. “That’s what we saw before we got to you. We thought…”

  But he didn’t have to finish.

  They’d thought she was dead.

  Hell, she’d thought she was dead.

  Ellis had made the crew promise that as soon as he was released from the hospital they’d take him to Wormwood. He wanted to talk to the residents, wanted the crew to talk to them, to wrap things up, he’d said.

  To start the changes.

  He was desperate to make sure the city—Other and human—accepted Rune. Rune the Other.

  “They weren’t invited to the River Run Hall meeting,” he’d said. “So this meeting is for them. We’ll make sure they know us, make sure they feel they’re part of this city.” He’d looked at Rune with hopeful eyes, and she’d agreed.

  She’d have given him anything he wanted.

  “It’s only fair,” she’d said, smiling when his eyes lit up.

  His doctor said he would release him on Christmas Eve, and that’s when Ellis scheduled the Wormwood meeting.

  Rune was not looking forward to it.

  Christmas Eve morning dawned cold and gray, matching her mood perfectly. The skies had been spewing fluffy snow for the last two days, and though she loved the fresh beauty, even new snow couldn’t lift her spirits that morning.

  They’d decided to enter Wormwood in the evening so the vampires could make an appearance after the sun went down. So she had all day long to wait and worry.

  She wasn’t ready to face them yet—not the humans or the Others—but she’d be damned if she’d crouch in a corner, hiding from the world’s harsh judgment.

  Not anymore.

  She armed herself with special care, weighing her body down with perhaps too many shivs as well as her deadly guns. She’d breathed a sigh of relief at getting them back. Her badge she’d pinned to her vest where everyone would see.

  She was Other, but she was still Shiv Crew.

  And she was not taking Ellis into Wormwood unprepared.

  Some people would look at the gathering as a perfect opportunity to cause some trouble. Both sides were going to protest the meeting. The humans because Ellis was one of them and shouldn’t have been courting the Others, and also, thanks to Mitch, they now believed Shiv Crew was theirs to command.

  The Others because they’d been persecuted by law enforcement for decades. And they didn’t want the humans infiltrating the one place that belonged only to them.

  Finally, it was time to go.

  She drove alone. The twins and Lex were picking up Ellis, and Rune would meet them all at the graveyard. When she arrived, she stared in shock at all the vehicles already there. Dozens of them.

  She’d figured she and her men would be yelled at by a few angry people and that the usual residents of Wormwood would come see them out of sheer curiosity.

  But it looked like half of River County was attending.

  Ellis was still not in the best shape and walked slowly between the supportive arms of Levi and Denim. He smiled and waved when he saw her.

  “So many people,” he said, but missed the worried looks the twins and Rune exchanged.

  The path leading to the graveyard was nothing but hard, frozen earth, rubbed bare by hundreds of feet. She led her quiet crew to the gates and could sense those inside waiting. Waiting for them.

  “Rune.”

  She stopped walking at Jack’s tone, the fine hairs on the back of her neck rising. Dammit, not trouble already.

  She turned to look.

  The berserker strode toward them, his shiny hair and huge body lending him an especially terrifying air that close to the cemetery.

  “Fuck,” she whispered.

  She had seen nothing of Strad since the battle. He’d simply disappeared, and she couldn’t bring herself to ask about him. She didn’t care where he was.

  She didn’t.

  Lex’s movements picked up speed, her crazy blind eyes dancing in time with her body. The men looked at Rune. Should they go to meet the berserker or wait?

  “Wait,” she said.

  She’d avoid a confrontation at all costs. Her men were still recovering from the last encounter. Not that Strad had ever done anything but help them.

  Still, he was the berserker and he’d once worked for Jeremy. And Mitch’s betrayal had made all of them just a little more careful about whom they trusted.

  Strad’s boots kicked up a trail of new snow as he neared, his steely cold gaze on hers. She didn’t look away but rested her hands on her shivs, waiting.

  He strode right up to her, into her space.

  And then he dropped to his knees before her.

  The ground seemed to shake when he fell, and fluffy snow flew into the air as his huge body displaced it.

  Stunned, she looked up at her crew, her mouth open in shock.

  Strad’s long hair hung loosely over his big shoulders as he kept his head bowed, silent. Waiting. Even kneeling he was almost as tall as she was.

  He was throwing in his lot with Shiv Crew. He was giving her his loyalty.

  She touched his shoulder and at last, he lifted his face and looked at her. There was only calm acceptance in his eyes. No hint at anything other than a late-in-coming realization that he’d been with the wrong people all along.

  He’d opened a vein for her.

  She gave him a nod. “Okay.” She paused, forcing the words through the dry cotton in her mouth. “Thank you.”

  Jack and Z looked at her, patiently waiting for her signal. They could wait all day.

  Levi and Denim crowded around Ellis, making sure that if there was trouble, he was protected.

  Their faces were closed off, almost as closed off as they’d been when she’d first met them. They blamed themselves. She wasn’t the only one who believed Karin Love was behind Jeremy and the Dark Others. She was evil, and she was also a bitch with a grudge. Her daughter and two of her former men, men who’d grown up in her church, were now fighting against her and her plans for a monster-free future.

  Strad nodded back, his face expressionless. When he stood, he automatically took the position in front of her, his body her shield.

  Rune shrugged and let him take point.

  Z’s jaw dropped in amazement.

  The berserker pushed open the gates and they filed into Wormwood.

  The graveyard overflowed with people. Humans on one side, nonhumans on the other. They’d left a twelve-foot-wide path right down the middle, at the end of which stood the little podium Ellis had requested.

  Would they make it there without mishap? Not a chance.

  Rune pulled her silver blades as she walked. Don’t fuck with me on this day. Just don’t.

  If they caused Ellis one second of pain, she’d cut every last one of them. All he wanted—all he’d ever wanted—was for the Others and the humans of Spiritgrove to pull together. To accept each other. To be equals.

  The visitors were eerily silent, but Wormwood screamed with expectation.

&nbs
p; Something was going to happen. Anticipation rippled across her skin, raising gooseflesh and cold chills even as sweat trickled down her spine.

  Every step seemed to take forever, like when she tried to run from something in her nightmares. In front of her, Strad swiveled his head from left to right. He didn’t pull his weapons, but he had his hands on the grips.

  Lex’s vibrations, buzzing like the bees from a thousand hornets’ nests, hummed loudly enough to assault Rune’s sensitive ears.

  It pissed her off that those people would have so little respect for the ones charged with protecting them.

  But then…

  At very nearly the same time, every person in the graveyard thumped his chest and raised crossed fingers of acceptance and honor. Every person in Wormwood raised a hand.

  Every single one of them.

  “Oh,” Ellis cried. “Oh my.”

  Her heart burst with undiluted joy, and her eyes filled with bloody tears.

  Her crew watched her. Waited to see if she would return the sign.

  She gave it, thumping her own chest and raising her crossed fingers to the silent crowd.

  As one, her crew did the same.

  It was so perfect it hurt her.

  She sobbed. She hadn’t until that very moment realized how tormented she’d been by the hatred and contempt, both imagined and real. Something the Others lived with every day of their lives.

  And now those same people were honoring Ellis and acknowledging Shiv Crew.

  Gunnar the Ghoul stood with his people, his long fingers in the air. When he caught her gaze he bowed, and mouthed, Your Highness.

  “Rune, Rune,” Amy called, and when Rune glanced at her the girl waved frantically from her place beside her father.

  Suddenly, the world seemed a little less dark.

  “For you, Ellis,” she whispered.

  Finally. Fucking finally.

  She let the cleansing tears flow and walked with her head high beside the best friend she’d ever had, and the greatest man she’d ever known.

  Her Ellie.

  Every person in Spiritgrove honored him right along with her.

  In one week she would say a temporary good-bye to her crew and do one more thing Ellis had asked her to do—but she’d be doing it for herself.

  She was going away to get some help.

  Help for her.

  Help for her monster.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Two nights later she hung up with Bill Rice, smiling. Things were changing, and everyone had a part in those changes. Rice was still the director, and she was still captain of Shiv Crew, but SCRU had been merged with the Regional Investigations of Supernatural Crimes department, of which her crew was part.

  RISC was getting a new boss, but after the Dark Others’ defeat at Hawthorne Ridge, she would gain a hell of a lot more freedom and authority. Rice had promised her that.

  And with two Others in law enforcement in River County…

  Yes, things were changing.

  Ellis was thrilled she’d decided to go to the clinic. It could only help her, even though the battle at Hawthorne had gone a long way in changing how she saw herself.

  She’d forgiven little Rune, the child who’d only done what was her nature to do.

  Even if she wasn’t sure what her nature was. She might have begun to forgive and accept herself, but what the fuck was she? Where had she come from? No one seemed to know. And if they did, they weren’t talking.

  Jeremy had disappeared.

  She paced around her ugly house, anxiety coating her stomach like old milk.

  It was two in the morning, not too late to find some trouble in the city. Restless, she punched in Ellis’s number, ready to apologize if she woke him.

  He answered on the second ring. “You okay, Rune?”

  “Yeah. You weren’t sleeping. What’s up?”

  He paused. “You know.”

  “Oh.” He was on a date. “Be careful. I have a bad feeling tonight.”

  “Want me to come over?”

  “No, baby. Enjoy your night.”

  She hung up and immediately called Z. The call went to voicemail. Shit, what could she say? “Um. Just checking in.” Lame, Rune.

  The whole business with Jeremy and her imminent departure to the land of the shrinks had her anxious and unsettled.

  She stared out one of the tall living room windows. It was too quiet. The streetlights lent a gloomy, eerie glow to the silent street. The sidewalks were covered with the pale gleam of a light snow, scattered by icy fingers of wind.

  When she came back from the clinic, she was getting a dog. She didn’t enjoy her solitude the way she once had.

  The way she had before the battle. There’d always been her monster keeping her company. Now her monster was just…her.

  And she was alone.

  She stared at her cell, her finger poised to punch in the one number she wanted to call. The one number she shouldn’t call.

  Strad Matheson, the berserker.

  “Fuck,” she whispered. She couldn’t call him. Her life was already too complicated. Reaching out to the berserker? No. Just no.

  She hit the number almost before she realized she was going to do it.

  “You okay, Rune?”

  She closed her eyes at his dark, deep voice. It slid into her ear, into her brain, like wicked chocolate. Chocolate she should not eat.

  “I…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

  She could almost see his hesitation. “Rune…”

  “I shouldn’t have called.” She clicked off, furious with herself. What the fuck had she been thinking?

  The cell rang as she held it, and she jumped at the sudden sound. She let it ring.

  “Leave me alone, Strad,” she whispered.

  It stopped ringing and went to voicemail, and then there was only the heavy quiet. Once upon a time, she’d wanted the silence. Just maybe not that silence.

  She put the cell on the windowsill and continued staring out into the darkness. It was snowing again, harder, isolating her even more.

  Fuck it. She’d grab some shivs and her coat and go to RISC. Her job was good for working off anxiety and excess energy.

  She turned away from the window, and ran straight into Jeremy Cross.

  In the millisecond before he shot her she dropped her fangs and reached for him, but it was too late.

  The silver bullet entered her abdomen and exploded, sending melting silver into her bloodstream.

  “Well, fuck,” she said.

  He held her up when she would have fallen, cradling her against his chest. He dragged her to the couch and sat with her across his lap. “I saw you feed, my little monster. I saw you feed from the man who used to be under my command.”

  She opened her mouth but nothing came out—it was impossible to breathe. There was nothing but pain. Agony.

  He smoothed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I’m glad, though. You should feed. Because in the end, it doesn’t matter, does it?”

  Oh God, it hurts.

  Fight it, fight it.

  “I could have disappeared forever, but I couldn’t seem to leave you. Not here, alive.” He frowned, angry, a little confused. “Why is that, Rune?”

  The silver traveled throughout her body, destroying her. Not even when she’d fed Lex had the pain been so bad. And she hadn’t thought it could be worse than that.

  But it could be.

  So much worse.

  “You’re going to die,” he said, his voice low, calm. “The question is, how much pain can you take before you go?” He licked her face, his tongue leaving damp evil like a second skin. “I bet you can take a whole fucking lot more now that you’re so full of human blood. Nasty, beautiful fucking bitch.”

  She gasped for air that would not come. Her body was stiffening, going cold. I should’ve talked to you, Berserker. I should have talked to you.

  “Why couldn�
��t I leave you?” He shook her a little, wearing an angry, almost embarrassed half smile. “Why couldn’t I leave you?”

  Blood ran from the wound in her stomach, leaving silver in her veins. She could barely coax her arm to move but forced herself to lift her hand to his throat.

  Too incapacitated to do anything once she got it there, she could only rest her fingertips against his warm skin. Like a lover’s touch.

  He lifted her and carried her to her bed, then laid her gently across it. “I missed us. I missed what we do. You were good for me, Rune.”

  Standing back, he stared at her, his eyes almost…normal. Sad. “After this night, you will no longer exist. Then I can leave you.”

  She must have been breathing, though she could not taste the air. But she remained aware, and slowly, so slowly, the shock of the silver fled, leaving devastation in its wake.

  Unbearable pain, weakness, and terror.

  But she could move, at least a little.

  “Jeremy,” she whispered, when she could talk again. “I will end you.”

  His eyes widened. “Whatever you are, you’re a strong one. I admire that in a woman.”

  He took a shiv from her dresser, holding it to his lips for a brief moment. Like Gunnar with his Baby Ruth candy bars.

  The blade cut into his lip, and a drop of blood beaded and slid down his chin.

  He leaned over and kissed her.

  And as his lips moved tenderly against hers, he sliced her face with the blade. “I love you, Rune.” He straightened, breathing hard, his face flushed.

  In a lightning quick slash he dragged the knife across her chest, resting the point at her throat. “See how much I love you?”

  Use the pain. It’s what I do.

  She forced her terror away, forced herself calm.

  It’s what I do.

  She closed her eyes and concentrated on that agony. She took it apart, then began to put it back together into a pain she could endure. A pain she could use.

  She took the fear and wrapped it in rage, rage she’d been born with.

  And then she looked at him.

  “Hello, monster,” he said. “It’s been too long.”

  She smiled.

  “Fuck you,” Jeremy murmured.

  “No, baby. Fuck you.”

  She grabbed his throat. She didn’t need a fucking shiv.